I just live my way

What a day 

I really love the weekend

because finally its time for me to relax

but I wonder

Am I keep staying in my comfort zone?

I need some changes

Be a different leader

I just want to be a responsible one

people do feel that I'm changing

in fact I can sense it as well

but I get lazier for my own study

this is dangerous

I think I should ask myself

"Do you remember what you really want?"

As time passes

people change

and I think I have changed a lot

become more mature Maybe

I think what I am happy last week is that

finally I can donate blood

just passed the weight criterion after having my brunch

FAST and SAFE

Really grateful to be able in donating blood for those in need

I am HEALTHY than what you think

EOP PSY really drives us crazy

I really regret why I am not studying well

such a waste

but it still ended

Thanks for all those mad patients telling me bout their amazing story

Quote from Dr Ariff : "Everyone is MAD, the difference just that they require any treatment or not."

Thanks for being kind and giving me high score for my BST.

you make me a better student, APPRECIATE

Well, December is coming soon

Yeah, it's my birthday month soon.

Hope this year would be a happy one

unlike last year

Actually I should be the one don't keep remember those unhappy memories

but disappointment and discontentment stick deep inside

I shall choose to ignore

I believe this coming birthday celebrates with my love one would be an amazing one

because no matter what 

He always there for me though it's in his study week

Lastly, Good luck for my future postings

just here to remind me to be a better one

It's time to study hard!!!!!!!

An interesting holiday

Last week was the first holiday I have for this fifth year

being a group leader now,

the so called final year (hopefully it would be) is really challenging at the same time I feel glad as well

because I think I won't get lazy like before

So I try not to skip the classes, ended up went back late for holiday

many things happened so out of expectation

missing one friend's birthday celebration ended with another friend's birthday celebration

but luckily all went smoothly

I will say these are all surprises from what our loss

Another St John event I joined after so long long time

I'm always enthusiast in joining but I cant help with the time limitation

On that day,

met people who I would never think of seeing again

well, I admit that it's really awkward for us to meet that morning

giving each other the awkward smile

what I can do is focusing on the instructions given and avoiding eye contact with him 

nothing much to think

Thank you someone who made me not that unease in that day situation

Really passionate in educating people to enhance their health conscious

it's time to show face in all the SJAM events as much as possible.

Actually there are some words to tell him deep inside my heart

"Thanks for all the great things you had done, I have grown to be a better me and hope you too. Be happy"

Staying in the family is another must-do-list in the family

Though was just a simple dinner already making me so happy and grateful

But

 "sorry that I do not do much for you all

will try to be a better daughter for you, my dear parents"

What I missed this holiday was scrumptious dinner treat by my BF!!!!!

omg, all looks so delicious!!!!

Hopefully I gt a chance to have that kind f dinner with you all next time 

when you become more mature, you feel happy by simple things done

Even though a simple dating likes watching a movie is enough for me

Thank you for always sacrificing all your time for me even you're in rush

A brand new experience I have which I feel I am really lucky enough was

be a kele-feh

It really happened by chance and thanks God for giving me this precious chance

I grabbed it so tightly

no matter I will appear on the TV or not, the important things are

meeting the actor and actress, knowing the process in drama making and life as a kele-feh

this is what we would not know if we are not part of them

special experience which I only need it once :)

We deserve a better us, so don't dwell on those bad things and discontentment. stay happy.

Glad for having all those great friends around me, appreciate :)

The short break

well, I was skipping the class after a very long time of
being an obedient student
Since this was the last chance I got to see your face
I'm willing to do that
Reaching home so early in the morning made me really tired
And I was very sleepy
Thanks god I managed to be awaken by the alarm
Not sleep like a dead body

At the moment I saw your face in the coffin
So many memories between you and me occupied my mind
I can see your swollen face which indirectly told me that your kidney problem must not been well controlled
I really wish to know the exact diagnosis of your death
How I wish I was there by the time you collapsed
You might be still alive now
But saying all these now is too late
I feel very sad about the lost of you
Even though I didn't cry until teary face
Not only that, I pity of your cute little only Son
He seems like doesn't know you had gone to a place very far form him
He doesn't know that he gonna lose you forever and ever
Your Wife had pretended to be strong enough in the first 2days
Also, by the time you had to go
Her sadness which sits deeply in her heart couldn't be hidden anymore
It's unfair to bring you away from your happiness when you're still so young
But we couldn't change the fact that you had been left

My mood was affected
I know I should be more rational
But I'm still human being who have feeling

Another half of my day was a fully occupied family day
Asam Fish dinner and had fun with the kids just a must to do in Muar
Late date spent with my bbf just normal like having meal and I enjoy it

The second day morning just gonna be 废 with the Super busy bbf
Accompanied him when he is busying might feel bored but that ad becomes my habit
Sleep like a pig which I never did in Kelantan is always another to-do-list in Muar
Thanks Sister for the seafood treat during dinner
Then prepared all the Sao mu things is just my duty every year
Since I'm still able to do it

Woke up early morning to Sao mu
Even though i was so lazy
but still being forced to be awaken
I like the moments the whole family being together
Though this year many of them didn't come back
But I really appreciate every chance to spend with my family
Whenever I'm still able and free to do that
Because I don't know how many chances I still left

This is really a shortbreak to back to my hometown
Though it's tiring and busy without studying
But I think this is very meaningful to me

心情多变的一天

话说今天是在 O&G 的第二天
还是慵懒的从睡窝中醒来
做着每天都必须做的事
幸运的是一去到医院就有 Parking
这对我本人来说太重要了
因为不需要走很远的路 晒很久的太阳
其实这样就已经挺开心的了

过后跟着很凶但是又会教很多东西
又曾经是我的examiner的Dr Zainal ward round
他明明没怎样但就是会没理由的怕他
所以没被他骂也觉得是幸运的一件事

久违的Dr Aziz的BST也重新唤醒脑袋里一些陈旧的knowledge
再一次听到baby的心跳是多么的兴奋啊
Join了已经进行到一半的Dr Shukri BST真的讲很多东西
人有那么好
拿到他as examiner真好 超幸运

1.30就准备吃午餐
结果

一盘普通的鸡饭既然要等上半小时
我们2点课猜到你这吃饭啊
怎么你就搞到我们迟到
想说那位医生每次都挺准时地
希望他不要生气锁门就好
也幸运的我们比他早了几分钟先到课室


差点就听seminar听我快要睡下去了
偏偏我又那么幸运就坐在那医生的旁边
都不能睡
看到其他人都在睡真的很羡慕
过后才知道原来年那位医生也几度睡着了
炸到咯!!!!!

突然想到是阿米生日就顺便祝他下
结果却听到一则坏消息
之前对我们很好的St. John officer 去世了
过后FB也纷纷出现很多人在讨论这件事
我说这太突然 这么年轻
突然感慨
什么事情都能在任何时刻发生
有点不舍
希望这次回去有机会去参加他的丧礼
弥补这么多年的不常联络

很早就回家
讨论elective
想睡午觉却又睡不着
躺着荒废咯
直到6点半才愿意起来弄晚餐

7.30去医院on call
挺空旷的
停车位多的不知道怎么选择
哈哈哈
跟每次早上遇到的情况差太多
是每次都要像今天的天色一样暗就出门吗
是要累死啊

那Ward跟早上没什么差别就到Labour room去咯
这里反而热闹些
一进到里面就有人在生孩子
当然要去凑热闹咯
是华人 但是primi
感觉好可怜 好痛哦
可惜生出来的是一位兔唇宝宝
没敢第一时间让妈妈看宝宝
怕她接受不了
可怜的还得忍受那缝针的痛苦
还要被骂

第二个是retain placenta
幸好成功的manually removed 那剩下的八个
又是另一个新手妈妈
不小心拉屎了
过了20分钟才总算成功把宝宝生出来
幸好没事 只是有meconium 罢了
今天天有好多第一次

1. 第一次帮她们穿PADS
2. 第一次亲手把baby 交到mummy们手上
3. 第一次看到兔唇宝宝的出生还有她妈妈的伤心
4. 第一次觉得生孩子其实有点可怕
5. 第一次帮病人做 per-vaginal and per-rectal examination
(很感谢那妈妈和医生愿意给我这个机会, 3rd year不给做那我们就要在4th year疯狂的做)
6. 第一次亲眼见证twin babies 的出生
7. 第一次见过cord round neck (幸好宝宝没事)
8.第一次觉得自己没那么的多余 (至少我们在那里还有点用处的)

今天的结论是

"机会是自己争取的, 争取到了就好好珍惜, 相信自己可以做到, 自信很重要"
忙碌的一天就是特别的充实 :)